What just happened?!?

Welcome to the middle of the story.

Life is messy. Life is hard. Life is glorious and grandiose and full of shit that happens and times that may bore us to tears. Whatever your life is, mine went completely insane.

As I was contemplating a rebirth, a renewal, a re-energizing of my personal life in Northern California, I found out I was pregnant. (This was early Spring 2014.)  Dang it! I thought I was DONE with the whole birth world and babies and diapers and that whole "no sleep" thing! AND I was away from my support system! This is probably what scared me the most. My parents and In-laws were 3,000 miles away.

Please do not get me wrong: this pregnancy was certainly NOT according to OUR plan; but was this child unwanted? ABSOLUTELY NOT!! This was certainly God's Child. From that point on, I had to put "my plans" on hold and let God have a turn at the wheel. Once the pregnancy was confirmed, I knew I had to find a support system: birth team, church, friends. For an introvert, this was going to be tough!

In December 2013, we moved into a small 120+ year old house in the second floor unit near downtown Petaluma, CA. It was within walking distance of anything we needed! A small Whole Foods was half a block away. A Target, Sprouts, and surrounding shopping center was four or five blocks east of us, while beautiful, downtown historic Petaluma was about a mile west of us. Should you ever wonder, "Petaluma. Should we stop and check it out?" You need to answer, "YES!" It is full of cute little shops for everyone! Loads of restaurants and snack stops, a yarn shop, several well-stocked thrift stores, a natural toy store in the theater district, a well-stocked candy store, and tons of historical architecture! A majority of these buildings were from before the 1906 San Francisco earthquake. Walnut Park is a great little park with a playground that the girls liked located on the south end of downtown. And look up the long list of movies that were shot in and around Petaluma over several decades! ( here, here, and here )

Our location was fantastic. We found a church relatively close in town called 360 Church of Petaluma.  It was a non-denominational Christian church that felt relaxed, and the girls felt comfortable in their children's programs. This one was full of real people. Thank God!

I started interviewing local midwives. Found two that were about to start their own birth center in a town about 30 minutes north of us. It was a beautiful option! Luckily, they agreed to come do prenatal checkups at our place in Petaluma as we only had one car that my husband took to work an hour south of us.  They attended the homebirth of our son and third child, Wolfgang, in October of 2014. With Hypnobabies home study and their hands-off assistance, this birth was by far the best experience I ever had! My little family was there and Daciana got to hold his hand as he was laying on my belly short after birth. It was beautiful....and another post....

Friends. Having to put on my big girl panties and get out there to meet people - all while managing two growing kids, a tiny home with less than desirable neighbors, a pregnancy that was sucking any energy out of me, later deciding to put the girls into a Waldorf Charter school three blocks away - was more than a daunting task, it was MONSTROUS. Quite leviathan in nature. Jonah's Whale had eaten me alive and spat me on foreign shores.

Ultimately, I did find wonderful friends. Some in the Women's Group at the church. Some I found at a newly formed crafting group that met in various places around town, The Rebel Craft Collective  (Meetup). I even made friends with a couple of Moms at the school (Live Oak) that the girls started attending...we referred to ourselves as Misfit Moms (the three of us were not NorCal natives and never seemed to fit in with the "kool-aid drinkers". Several other people were miraculously scattered around town or my husband's workplace. Also found an excellent chiropractic practice within walking distance of our little place; Praise the Lord!

Insanity runs in my family. Shortly after we moved to NorCal, my parents bought an RV and followed us out, if not forever, but seasonally. They were able to make it for the girls' birthdays, some holidays, and shortly after the birth of our son (little stinker came a couple weeks early). It was an absolute blessing that they were able to make it out!

So...What happened?!? We stayed in NorCal (this is the short version of the story) for almost three years. We made very good friends. Whether it is Wanderlust, Humor of the Universe, or ultimately God's Plan, our souls still haven't settled down. We made it back to Florida and are currently in the Orlando area nearer to our family and original support group. The strong desire for Wolfgang to grow up with TWO sets of awesome grandparents and our adult need to be able to financially support our family (it is CRAZY expensive in California!!) brought us back.

We love our friends on both coasts! We miss everyone. We are thankful for social media to keep in touch. God is good all the time; and all the time, God is good.

The adventure continues.....!

My "3-hour tour" after Daciana's birth...

After my beautiful 4 hour homebirth on Feb 25, 2009, my midwife discovered a small vaginal cyst that was only visible because I tore. After much discussion, it was mutually agreed that I go to the hospital to have it removed, stitched up and sent home to enjoy my new family. Simple, right? Of course not! Hold on to your butts...you are going on a ride through our "Great American Health Care System".

My doula drove my husband, our 2 hour old newborn, and me to the hospital (not the one that was actually closer to us because that one was not covered by our insurance). My midwife called ahead and told them our situation. I think she also faxed over my records. She said to go to the ER and tell them that we were expected. Of course they were confused by us telling them that we just had a baby at home, I needed a cyst removed and to be stitched up. (BTW, this is what hospitals are for!)

We got to a triage room pretty soon (after I was put in a wheelchair of course...) They took quite a lot of blood for "admission into the hospital" and because you can't go to a hospital without them sucking you dry (in more ways than one!). The ER staff were all friendly and seemingly unbiased about homebirth. Finally the on-call OB comes in, we tell her what we want and she mumbles something about "that's why we shouldn't do homebirths..." What the ?!?!?! Okay, we know what side of the fence she is on...

So (several hours later) I am in the pre-op room getting prepped. They want me to sign all sorts of things and I only make it longer trying to understand it all. I know I do not need to be put under general anesthesia for just such a simple operation but they keep trying to push it on me! All I need is a local anaesthetic (lidocaine) and to be sent home...

Then my blood work comes back...and my liver enzymes are elevated.

"What does that mean?" I ask. "It could be late-onset preeclampsia. We would like to keep you for observation and put you on magnesium sulfate."

Okay. With my first birth, I had preeclampsia (and I promise to write that birth story soon!) and my midwife thought well, maybe, it is possible. But having no other symptoms throughout pregnancy or labor (seeing spots, dizziness, high blood pressure, swelling, protein in the urine), I thought it was weird. But I trust my midwife. This is what the doctor/OB is for. So because of my history, I let them hook me up to mag sulfate..."for 24 hours" they said...they couldn't find me a room in the maternity wing until late afternoon...I would have to be there with my husband and new baby overnight...

ACK!

By the way, Anastasia (my 3 yr old) went with my parents (Thanks Mom and Dad!) to stay the night...thinking that we would all be together the next morning........

By 6 pm they hook me up to that crap...er, I mean mag sulfate...which means that I would be there at least until 6 pm tomorrow!!!

We had our baby at home THEN went to the hospital...I think we did it backwards ;o)

Throughout the entire night and day, my BP had never been lower in my life! I felt like crap because that is just what mag sulfate does. And I had to eat hospital food full of refined carbs and sugars and HFCS and the occasional GMO fruit...

...again, ACK!

I had such a wonderful diet during pregnancy - whole foods, organics, NO HFCS (well, maybe a tiny bit that one cannot escape in this day and age) - and they expect people to get better on this sh!t? I hope Health care reform also includes hospital food reform!

It was NOT preeclampsia. But my liver enzymes were still high. They kept sticking needles in my arm to draw blood several times during my stay. Then they wanted to do a sonogram of my guts, which involved me fasting for 8 HOURS! (I thought this was ironic because it was the Friday after Ash Wednesday ;o)

...again, ACK!

A new mother that needs to breastfeed having to fast?!?! Maybe it was better than eating that cr@p food ;o) Eight hours actually turned into 10 hours because the ultrasound room was understaffed that night and slammed for what ever reason. Of course! They found very little 'wrong' but also did not talk to me during the procedure...yes, I did ask questions...I do have gall-stones...whatever that means...

They ruled out 'late-onset preeclampsia' and the GI doctor had no clue either as to what made my liver enzymes so high. That second night there I had a feeling that they wanted to keep me much much longer so I decided before I went to bed that we - Patrick (who was sleeping on those damn 'Dad' beds), Daciana (who was nursing and sleeping very well and did not seem phased by any of this) and I (who was quite ready to literally kick some butt) - were going home. We could not just leave because of the fear of the insurance not covering any of the hospital stay. I told God I wanted to be home by noon on Saturday.

From the first moment I awoke from a restless nights sleep, I was a very squeaky wheel. I wanted some grease and lots of it!! "I want to go home today. Where are my discharge papers? When can I go home?" is all I said to anyone. The only way they were going to let me go is if I agreed to become an outpatient and be referred to another GI doctor (this I suggested).

To speed the story up, I ended up staying in the hospital for 3 days! And for what? No one knows...but by 11:30 almost noon, I got my discharge papers: we were going home!!!! Thank you GOD!!

Now I am going through my itemized bill for the hospital, trying to see where they are nickle and diming me. After the insurance covered their portion, somebody thinks I still owe over $2000! Patrick is already working overtime and taking on a couple of paying gigs on the weekends just to make ends meet. We are not living beyond our means or overspending on things we think we should have. The last time I bought new clothes for myself was a couple of maternity items and before that maybe eight months without having new things. I have been wearing the same pair of shoes everyday for over a year, have not gone shoe shopping since Jan 2008 and before that probably when I was pregnant with Anastasia in 2005! We spend money on good food for the family, gas for Patrick to go to work (2 hours driving to and from work 5 days a week...), electric bill, water, and mortgage (this is what is killing us...can't sell because the market is cr@p right now)

Sorry about the rant and rave there...we, like many of you, are living paycheck to paycheck. Whether one or two incomes per family, and tightening our belts every month, it doesn't seem like enough. I believe the only reason the doctors and the hospital kept us there as long as they did was because we have insurance. If we didn't, they would have patched us up and kicked us to the curb.

Wish me luck on interpreting the paperwork and disputing it!

And now...your moment of Zen:

[The following is an excerpt of an interview from GivingBirthNaturally.com]

"...in the UK, midwifery is the standard of care. A pregnant woman would not go and even see an obstetrician unless he was high risk to begin with, or having some sort of complication later in the pregnancy that the midwives identified and then felt that you needed to be seen by a specialist. The obstetrician is really seen as a specialist rather than as the primary caregiver for that pregnant woman. "

Holding my breath...

Just to let you all know, I am in my 30th week of pregnancy. Why does this matter? Because this time in my last pregnancy I had developed severe preeclampsia, had to get admitted to the hospital for observation and try to get my BP down with magnesium sulfate (not fun), then be told three days later I had to deliver my daughter at 31 weeks in order to survive. [For the birth story according to my husband, click HERE. It really is a good read! There are pictures, too.] I do intend to write my own version of that birth one day... I think I am waiting to see how my second birth experience goes.

This time around, however, I feel fantastic - well, for a pregnant woman ;o) I have gained an appropriate amount of weight, I do not feel like I am wearing a fat suit I cannot take off, I do not look like a melting wax figure, and I have a fantastic midwife who comes to my house for checkups instead of being shuffled through a doctor's office and having to spend an ungodly amount of time in a crowded waiting room...

So much I have learned from that pregnancy to this one. So much has happened. I became a Childbirth Educator for BabyBodyBirth, a Co-leader for Brevard BirthNetwork, I breastfed my DD until her third birthday, and a much more educated woman/mother/human.

My favorite movies now include 'Business of Being Born,' 'Orgasmic Birth,' 'Born in the USA,' and I hope to see 'Pregnant in America' soon!

So, the day after Christmas will be one day past 31 weeks...the longest I have ever been pregnant. I believe I will make it!

p.s. I am due in late February 2009. I hate specific 'due dates.' It really should be a 'due week' or 'due month'......

And now...your moment of Zen:

"$13 to $20 billion a year could be saved in health care costs by demedicalizing childbirth, developing midwifery, and encouraging breastfeeding."

- Frank Oski, MD,

Professor and Director, Department of Pediatrics,

Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, Baltimore, MD

No Big Deal...

Birth should be no big deal. It should be as simple and straightforward as perhaps putting on pants. Of course there was a time where women could not wear pants without thoughts of scandal..."Oooh, ankles!!"
And breastfeeding should also be no big deal. It is as normal as anybody else in public eating..."Oh my God! She's eating with chopsticks!!"
So, there are several really good movies about birth, and ABC's 20/20 is doing a story (finally) on one, called "Orgasmic Birth." "OMG! What does sex and birth have to do with each other?!?"
Anyway, after reading the media hype about homebirth and such on the ABC page, please visit this one which tells a more balanced story about midwives.

GOT IT!

While my husband and daughter play LEGO Indiana Jones on our Wii, I will let you all know when daughter #2 is born in Feb 2009, she shall be known as:

DACIANA GUINEVERE ALGERMISSEN !

And as far as my health is concerned, my midwife says I am doing fantastically!!

AND I had my Glucose Test today... most of you are saying, "Yeck, glucola!" But! because I have an awesome midwife, I had a glucose breakfast instead of drinking that horribly, nasty, wrong glucola junk! It included toast, OJ (which I squeezed myself from oranges from my own backyard), scrambled eggs, and milk. That's it! No chuging nasty, syrupy, foul tasting, blech and riding a sugar-high for an hour or 2.... Best part was, my husband made it! Thank you, Love you!!

Baby - Daciana - is doing well, heart sound great, in the 140s. My BP is low and stable. And my daughter, Anastasia, is enjoying the homevisits from my midwife.